TV never disappoints

I have been away from home far too long. The hard drive on my TV recorder is full of shows I have to catch up on otherwise I will be out of sync with my wife and that will never do. Watching TV is what we do together. If we didn't do that we would hardly see each other at all. She works at the University all day and returns home late and I pursue my rather odd career, which nowadays demands long periods on the road. So when we manage to get together we eat or watch television, often both at the same time. 

In life many things are disappointing such as the splendours of nature where nothing is quite as big, unpolluted or as colourful as the brochures; or such as the glamour of the writers' life which should be all perfectly timed wit for doting interviewers on red carpets full of well upholstered gals in gowns, but in reality is life at a desk with occasional seminars in rooms full of earnest women wanting to remove all gender specific nouns from the English language; or such as the director's life which should be full of nubile young beauties trying to seduce one for a good part, but seems to consist of standing up for eighteen hours surrounded by depressed people. TV on the other hand is never disappointing as one can mindlessly stroke one's wife's head, sip wine, stuff peanuts into one's mouth, and now and then shout inanities at the screen. And all in the relaxing privacy of one's underpants.

For reasons that escape me, directing has lengthened my sentences. May be it has something to do with the length of time I now have for editing myself, which is, no time. So with only a week at home I must finish the film I shot in the UK. Because people in the UK are rather grumpy and lack most things that make me want to stay there for any length of time, my short film that should have been finished while there, has, as ever, to be finished off by myself. One is spending an inordinate amount of time fighting my way through the errors and mistakes that the professional technical crew made, while grumbling to myself that for the price they cost i could have shot a feature film in Hong Kong and had a less stressful time of it. UK trains its crews to operate technology that no longer exists and trains them not to work out the rather simpler demands of better kit and efficient work flows. It has to be seen to be believed but there you have it, another reason the indie-films of Hong Kong and Singapore will surely one day begin making headway especially if the actors and writers of the region can get as good as the UK ones. Which are probably the two things one does miss about the UK, witty writers and first rate performers.

Speaking of which, I am doing my best to up the capabilities of local screenwriters. In a week's time I have to go to Singapore once more. This time for two weeks conducting my week long courses. Another thirty students will be indoctrinated into the mysteries of screenwriting and, hopefully, put off from writing works of genius until I have managed to get my own on the market. Producing rivals for oneself cannot be a good idea, but for my sins I try my best.

(c) Lawrence Gray 2013